IRIDESCENTWRECK

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Social Failure

posted on Saturday, 18 January 2014 @ 07:55 | permalink

Hey guys,
i'm so sorry for not posting after so long, i just got lazy and well, laziness is one of my horrible traits.
I checked & it seems like i haven't posted since 17Nov13! Well it's been exactly 2 months & a day and boy have things changed!

I'll try to make it a super short and sweet entry!

So for those who do not know, I'm taking my private O'levels now! If you're wondering why i didn't continue and advance to higher itec, is cause my results suck... there's no other way to say it other than it sucked big time. I'm not gonna tell you how bad it is cause it's embarrassing so yeah...damn i suck...

Anyways, just to let those who're contemplating on taking up your private O's, i'll just let you know that it isn't easy! As in financially & family wise.
Why?
Well, financially, it's gonna cost a bomb!
As for family wise... it kinda depends.. it depends if your family is the super supportive type or not. Unfortunately, mine isn't.
So it took me the whole of December to think of a way to let my parents know about my decision and trust me... it wasn't easy breaking the news to them. I told them about it on the 3rd of January. That was definitely one of my most f*cked up days so far but i really hope that it'll be worth it.
But overall, i'm grateful that my parents overall respected my decision and supporting me financially. I know I've a lot at stake so I'm really gonna pull out all the stops and try my best to do really well for my O's! *determined look*

I'm studying at Dhouby Ghaut's BMC branch now so i'm basically taking a 20 minutes train ride to school everyday which SUCKS!!! Cause my ezlink card is now adult fee so I've to waste $20 a week just for transport! (I need to go to Jurong East every Thursday for Business Studies) Hais~ This ridiculous transport expenditure has to last till the mid of February i think... that's when my new student ezlink card comes out.. *sad face*

Well, here's the more suckish part... I CAN'T MAKE ANY FRIENDS IN SCHOOL *depressed face* I've no idea why... i just suck at being human i guess.
i literally spent the first week of school asking myself "are you guys the ones that are weird or am i just weird?" i think the final conclusion is that...yeah, i'm the weird one here. it's so weird cause i've never really been a social outcast till now. I mean i get it, i'll never be the popular girl and i'm fine with that but me being socially outcast-ed is kinda new for me. i mean, i literally feel like an alien 75% of the time in class and the other 25% i'm just telling myself that it's alright not to have friends cause i'll be able to focus better in class..

But after last week's experience in an new environment, i've truly never dreaded school till now. The stress of trying to chug things into your brain, having no friends in class at all & the constant pressure and nagging of needing to do well for the exams is honestly too much to bare. I won't lie but i've cried myself to sleep a couple of times and it's not even the first month of school yet! But i'll have this constant voice in my head to tell me to carry on and study harder so i guess it's not too bad right? Anyways, it's just 10 months before saying bye to everyone so it's alright i guess.

On the brighter side of news, i did make a new friend yesterday, her name is Navitha & she's nice so it's gonna be okay i guess. *smiley face*

Anyways, here's a song that listen to whenever i'm feeling down. watch the music video! it's cute! And well, the song itself is nice to just take a listen!

Gonna update more from now on! gonna post bout my recent activities soon!
Hope I haven't completely lost all my readers!
Thanks for reading!
Bye!